Wednesday, August 8, 2007

what birth order?

one of the things i have been grappling with lately is that the birth order of my three kids is really messed up. Sam is the oldest at 8, then Savvy is 6 and Smith is 3.




Sam is noticeably immature for her age. this has been attributed to the ADHD and perhaps even the head injury. but more likely, the ADHD as this is not an uncommon trait of ADHD kids.



and Savvy is perhaps a bit more mature than children her own age. and she holds the uncoveted position of middle child in our family. and with that, comes its own ball of wax.



Smith is simply a three year old boy. also the baby. and that's not a bad place to be.



i feel deeply for the girls and the confusion they have in their birth order. Savvy certainly has the middle child syndrome working. poor pitiful me - everyone gets more attention than i do so i must act out. and in many ways, she is absolutely correct.



but even though Savvy is younger than Sam, she is far and away more mature. so i try and talk to her. and explain in the simplest terms possible that although she is not the oldest, she should try and act like the oldest. i cannot find the words to properly explain this to a six year old. even a mature six year old. and i desperately need her to understand.



and a part of me needs for Savvy to forgive me as well. i don't like having to ask a six year old to step up and in a sense, grow up. it's not fair.



NONE of this is fair. but our family dynamic is what it is.



and we all have to make the best of it - even if you are a innocent six year old girl...

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

T- How beautiful the pics, you just bearing it all...the children...Don't worry Savvy is much like my Gabe she will forgive and grow in her role, you're an amazing mother, lots of love to you.

-Lil'sis

~d said...

Children. All of them. Any age. Any birth order. I wonder sometimes if I (am doing) my eldest a disservice b/c he IS the older and I do over-protect. And then, my youngest...is he getting (way too much) freedom? Hang in there, Scarlett O'Hara, for today is another day!