Sucker punch to the gut

Typically, when it comes to bad news about Samantha I have some sort of warning. I know it is coming.
Going for testing or meeting with educators for test results.
And I have time to prepare mentally for these results - which usually are not good.

Today, the kids and I had routine appointments with the optometrist. Sam had only been once, when she was much younger and Savvy and Smith had never been - so this was a kind of check-up thing.

In the midst of rotating the kids through all the screenings they do - I was taking my turn in the Dr's Better or Worse chair. You know - where he flips the switches in front of your eyes and says "Better or Worse."

So I was telling him that Savvy had recently been evaluated at Scottish Rite and while she does not have Dyslexia - she does have a recognized reading problem. Then went on to tell him that Sam goes to Shelton, has ADHD, dyslexia, apraxia, etc. And if he had a hard time understanding her to just ask her to repeat herself.

A few minutes later he pulled me aside and asks me if Sam has brain damage. Did I tell him she had a brain injury? I said No, I did not tell him that but yes, she did have a head injury as a baby. He shows me this sheet of paper with graphs on it - one graph for each eye. Has to do with peripheral vision. The same square on both graphs was marked. She has missing peripheral vision on both eyes in the same place. And that indicates a brain injury. He continued to say that with the right equipment, you could determine exactly where the injury is.

Now how much an eye Dr knows about brain injuries is up for debate.
So I don't know about the mapping part.

But this is the first physiological proof that Sam has a brain injury. Up until now, we had assumed it. but did not know for certain.

and now we know.
for certain.

and it felt like a sucker punch to the gut...